


Scottish Lemons

by NinjacookieXD



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh! Series
Genre: Accents, M/M, body kissing, hinted sex, idk what I'm doing xD, partly Scottish!Ryou, this is a crackfic if I'm honest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 05:41:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6892396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinjacookieXD/pseuds/NinjacookieXD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After finding out Ryou is part Scottish, Bakura and Akefia both take it upon themselves to watch some television shows in order to impress their hikari. With this plan, they think by adopting the accent and coming onto the unsuspecting boy, it will gain more of his affections. Unfortunately this plan backfires, as the only shows they end up watching are Balamory and Raven… Cue the madness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scottish Lemons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ylissean-yokai (tumblr)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ylissean-yokai+%28tumblr%29).



> Writing accents phonetically is hard :/ 
> 
> Based off a prompt I wrote down back in 2012 that Akefia adopts a Scottish accent after watching Braveheart… Yeah, I don’t know what I was smoking either XD Here I changed it to something else though… Something infinitely better ;D Enjoy

He shouldn’t have mentioned it. It was a really stupid idea. Especially after the whole ‘Harry Potter incident’ which will remain unspoken about forever as he didn’t want a painful reminder. He should have seen it coming, should have kept his big mouth shut. But he didn’t, and now he had this situation to deal with.

The day had started out pretty normally for Ryou; he’d woken up at 7 o’clock sharp and, after freshening himself up in the bathroom, made breakfast for both himself and his lovers. After that the three of them would usually get ready for work or start their household chores. Or at least, that’s what Ryou did. Unlike him, his boyfriends didn’t share his attitude towards getting things done and usually scattered to do their own thing.

The chores were equally shared out between the three of them, and despite their attitudes towards them, Akefia and Bakura usually pulled their weight around the place. It was partly because they were forced to (with the threat of sex being revoked if they didn’t) and partly because they wanted to impress their little uke more than the other, as with most things they did. The two spirits were extremely competitive with one another, especially when it came to their host, but usually he was able to keep the fighting to a minimum and allow himself to be shared equally between the two.

Today was a day, unfortunately, that the two of them started to fight. Ryou had been in the middle of dusting on top of a shelf, standing on tip-toes to reach it when he felt two arms snake around his briefly exposed midriff. Letting out a small yelp, he struggled around in his perpetrators grip, turning his head slightly to see that it was the dark spirit, Bakura who had caught him.

“Kura, please! Not while I’m cleaning…” Ryou began to say in a confident, no-nonsense tone that quickly changed into a soft whine as he felt lips graze his neck.

“Don’t ye worry yer pretty little head, laddie. I’ll soon ‘ave ye singin’ eh different tune.” He muttered in a bad attempt at a Scottish accent. Or at least, Ryou _thought_ it was Scottish.

“B-Bakura…?” Ryou frowned in confusion, unsure whether to laugh or be concerned. “What are you…” Before he had a change to ask the spirit what was going on, he was interrupted by a third person in the room, one which neither realised was actually there before.

“Hey! Hands off ma pet, ya wee terrible beastie!”

Both stopped still and turned to see Akefia standing a few steps away with his arms folded across his bare chest. He never liked to wear shirts, even in the winter. While Ryou found himself blushing slightly from the sight (no matter how many times he saw him, he’d always be enamoured by the thief’s sun kissed skin and prominent muscles), Bakura had a different reaction. A glare was sent in his direction, one which would kill if looks alone could. Ryou gulped; that was never a good sign.

The grip around the smaller boy loosened as Bakura stepped away, his murderous gaze never once leaving Akefia’s strong and confident one.

“Is that a challenge I hear?” He asked, still in the bad accent. “Are ye ready t’face, the way of the warrior?”

At this, Ryou did a double take at Bakura. Did he just mis-quote Raven…? Ryou wasn’t even aware the spirit watched TV, let alone one of his favourite game shows from childhood back in England.

“Aye, and I won’t be losing any rings today,” Akefia said, cracking he knuckles together and walking over to the other spirit with a smirk on his handsome, scarred features. “Bring it on.”

“Well then…” Bakura said, also walking towards him. “Let the challenge… BEGIN!”

No sooner had he shouted the last word, the two of them flew at each other fist first, striking both parties square in the jaw. This didn’t stop them though, as they both grinned and continued to throw punches. The fighting also involved grabbing, kicking and even biting at one point. Once these two got into it, there was no telling when they would stop. Ryou watched on in a stunned silence, glued to the spot as he tried to make head or tail of what was going on.

“What’s the story in Balamory?” He heard one of them shout at one point. They were so tangled up in each other and sounded so alike, that he wasn’t sure who it was. These words also surprised him, as it was a quote from another one of his childhood shows, Balamory. Although it had been significantly longer since he’d seen that one. To his surprised, the other one responded to that with another mis-quote.

“Wouldn’t you like you know, bitch?!”

There were also several other quote-turned-insults thrown about as the two spirits tussled with one another including,

“Go take it easy with Eedie McCreedy!”, “Forfit a life!”, “Why don’t you go have fun with Plum, Ryou’s mine!” and “The luck of the Raven’s eye is not with you today!”

It only took a few more seconds of this before Ryou’d had enough and stepped in to stop them. “Stop fighting at once!” He shouted, his voice adopting a very authoritative tone that made the two spirits stop dead. Ryou only used that tone when they were in serious trouble. They pulled away from each other, untangling their limbs, and stood side by side looking sheepishly down at the ground. It was quite a feat for the smaller host to have so much control over his two yamis, not that they would ever admit to it though. They just didn’t want to see him get upset.

“Thank you,” Ryou said, placing his hands on his hips and looking up at the two expectedly. “Now would you like to tell me why the two of you insist on putting on those ridiculous accents and fighting one another _today_?”

Akefia and Bakura shared a glance and stood in silence before Akefia eventually answered.

“Well, laddi- I mean, Ryou. It’s because of what you said the other day…” Akefia replied first. Ryou raised his eyebrow higher.

“I said a lot of things the other day; that hardly narrows it down to why you’re both acting this way.”

“You remember the other night when you were telling us about your roots? About being part Scottish?” Bakura spoke next, shuffling awkwardly on the spot. “Well, Kefia and I thought we’d try our hands at doing the accent. You did say you liked it, and so we set about searching the internets for references.”

“By watching Raven and Balamory?” Ryou asked incredulously before bursting out laughing. Akefia and Bakura shared a confused look as they watched their host bend double and even start crying because he was laughing so hard.

“Ryou…?” Bakura asked slowly once the laughter had died down. Ryou straightened up and wiped his eyes.

“I- I apologise, Kura, Kefia… It’s just out of all the things you could have chosen, you watched those two children’s TV shows.” He smiled. “I love you guys, although I don’t agree on your reasons for fighting. I’ve said it time and time again, there is enough of me to share.” His cheeks flushed slightly as he said that, as was a common trait when the topic of conversation shifted to sex. He could scold the two of them for hours without batting an eyelid, but when it came to hinting about the activities they did in the bedroom, Ryou couldn’t help but get a little flustered. The two spirits noticed this and shared a grin before walking over to their host.

“That there is, my little hikari, but what you have to understand is that Akefia and I are very possessive men.” Bakura started, slinging an arm around Ryou’s neck and leaning his face in suggestively close. The blush deepened on Ryou’s face as the spirit moved closer, but before he could touch him, he felt Akefia’s hand tilt his face around gently to face him instead.

“While sometimes we don’t mind sharing, there are other times when we want you all to ourselves… You can understand that, can’t you?”

“I… I…” Ryou began to say, but found nothing coming out. His face was now entirely red as he felt Akefia’s other hand snake around his waist and tease the back of his trousers.

“After all that fighting, I’ve worked up an appetite.” Bakura mused, nuzzling the smaller boy’s neck and letting out a low hum of approval at the whine he received in response. “What do you say we put our differences aside, Akefia, and ravish this boy right here and now?”

“An excellent plan, my dear Bakura. An excellent plan indeed.” Akefia agreed, much to the pleasure of their host. Part of him was screaming for the two to stop; he had chores to be getting on with, not to mention homework and the fact the other two had other engagements too. Although he felt this denial slipping away as the two spirit’s lips began to graze his body, and hands roam underneath clothing.

It wasn’t long before he was pulling the two of them towards their shared room, begging for more which was gladly given.   

**Author's Note:**

> ‘the internets’ is not a typo, that was intentional XD Anything else misspelt probably is not though. Thanks for reading this crackfic ;D Do leave a comment if you enjoyed it ;)


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